So I have a feeling that I’ve been put in a bad light in order for someone else to save face. I know that some people are wondering, “Why do you care about what others think?” And it isn’t that, it’s the principle of the matter, I will not let someone use me as a tool, by throwing me under the bus, to put themselves in a good light. If I am put in a bad light it better be because I fucked up not because someone twisted a story to make themselves look better. Repetitive right? I know, but I want to get my point across, say it straight, and make everything clear. So let me give you the back ground.
I was with Danny Nguyen for a year and a half, which was my longest relationship. We broke up in mid June 2010 after he graduated. When we broke up he made me feel like shit about myself because I was a bad girlfriend, which I take 100% responsibility for because I thought I was a bad one too.
Now back to the present: Tina Nguyen posted that it was her 3 months anniversary with Danny in September. So I used deductive reasoning to figure out that, that meant he cheated on me for a week or two before we broke up. (based off of HER post so it was reasonable that I came to that conclusion) I know what some people are thinking, “Why do you still care?” Well he meant more to me than I care to share. I’m not the affectionate type, at times I try to be, but I’ll always revert back to the way I am. Plus I will always have a soft spot in my cold heart for ex’s. And I cared because that would mean he was the world’s biggest hypocrite for making me feel like shit about myself when he has a whore on the side. Yeah, that is what I thought of Tina when I came to this conclusion. So what did I do? I posted on fb how fcken pissed I was because if it was true or not I knew one of the two would confront me about it. Of course it ended up being Tina because Danny doesn’t have much of a back bone.
Background: Before that happened I added Danny on facebook to see if I was over him and I wasn’t phased by his stuff about Tina so I came to the conclusion I was.
Now back to the present: People thought I was insane because of how morbid my fb statues were and how angry I was. Which I understand because I wanted them both to rot in hell together. Was I too hasty to post it all over facebook? Maybe so. Did I have every right to be pissed? Hell yes I did. Because at that moment in time I thought. He made me feel like shit. He was a cheating bastard. She was a fake whore who pretends to be nice. And I was betrayed.
Result of my actions: Tina calls me. Keep in mind that I was calm the entire time while her voice fluctuated continuously, with her raising her voice at me. This is the main reason why I remember this conversation so vividly, in comparison to others, I was proud of myself for remaining calm and I was slightly amused by what she had to say. Hey if you don’t believe any of this, call me out on it, tell Tina and tell me what she says because I have nothing to hide. I know for a fact that I was not wrong. You can ask anonymous questions if you’re scared of me because I’m frightening when I’m angry. So I understand.
Anyways back to the phone call. At the beginning she is afraid I have her on speaker and that someone else is listening but neither is the case. I actually wanted more privacy so my siblings couldn’t over hear me. It starts off with her telling me she fucked up and can’t count, that it isn’t their 3 month anniversary. I was like okay. Then she starts raising her voice saying she doesn’t understand why I still care. How she doesn’t appreciate me calling her a whore on fb. How people think I’m insane. How she doesn’t understand why I have to post that kind of stuff on fb. How she wouldn’t do that on fb. How people told her things about how I still talk about Danny on fb. And I laughed.. I cared because he meant a lot to me, shit he was my longest relationship so obviously he had quite an impression on me. And even if it has been 3 months, it could be 6 or 9 months for all I care, I still would have been pissed because not only did I feel betrayed but also that he was a hypocrite. I told her I only came to that conclusion because SHE couldn’t count and that was why I thought she was a whore/ the other woman. I didn’t really care that people thought I was insane because they didn’t know shit about what was going on, they were just ignorant fools on the matter. Then I told her I was NOT her, and that I can post what ever the fuck I wanted on facebook. Just because she wouldn’t, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t. When I’m fcken pissed, I AM FUCKEN PISSED. And I laughed the hardest when she told me, people like Anson told her I was still posting about Danny on fb. First of all, Anson is a shit source. Second of all, I was talking about another asshole, but I didn’t care to tell the world his name. I laugh because I am ambiguous when I write those messages on fb for a reason, who would have thought her stupid friend would of course ASSUME and then make dumbass statements, he can’t back up for shit. Then she tells me that she doesn’t need this (me) as a problem because they are having problems in their relationship (as if I cared, I didn’t need to hear the sob story). Then she goes on to tell me that she tried to be understanding, compassionate and not assume when people talked shit on me. Then I laughed and said that’s exactly what you did, you weren’t understanding nor any of that shit, you took what everyone said word for word, so don’t give me that bullshit. She continues on about how she’s a nice person (which I didn’t care to hear or believe). Then she talks about how I wasn’t a good person to Danny. WOW. Now she was pushing my buttons. I told her that, that had NOTHING to do with her, and that the past was between me and him, and just US ALONE. THEN the funniest shit…she had the audacity to say, couldn’t you at least do it for me? Be happy for me? L. O. L. I told her I didn’t owe her SHIT she has never done anything for me, we aren’t close friends, none of that shit so don’t gimme that bs. Then I had to continuously remind her that this entire thing came up because SHE fucked up, because SHE couldn’t count. That’s how I came to the conclusion that he cheated. From there she talks about how she doesn’t want tension between us. I told her, now that she cleared it up, that SHE fucked up, there was no tension, idgaf about her and him then. I told her I won’t have a problem with her until she goes and disrespects me. Like she did the day before, when I approached her and some people, looking for someone and she straight out ignored me. Now that was asking for me to be annoyed with her. Then she goes on and tells me Danny deleted me on facebook because he didn’t wanna deal with it or face it. At that point I thought wow what a pussy. Then I laughed because I didn’t noticed nor did I care that he deleted me. I don’t need him, the only reason I added him was to test myself, I didn’t give a fuck if he was my friend or not.
What was the point of this? To hopefully educate some people. Yeah I may get a little too passionate but I had every right to be pissed. She fucked up, and as a result I reacted that way. That’s just how it happened. I don’t think people understand until they think about it, as if they were in my shoes.
What if they broke up with the guy they’ve been with for the longest time, he makes you feel like shit, and that the relationship went to shit because you were a bad girlfriend. Then you find out the asshole was cheating. Tell me how you feel. Let alone the fact that the other girl tries to be nice and make everyone think she is an angel when she is not because she’s the other woman. If you thought that, wouldn’t you be pissed? Exactly.
I don’t think I’m a bad person. I think people have manipulated stories pertaining to me, in order to make me look like the bad guy because they have some vendetta or because they want to make themselves look better. Get to know me before you listen to others because you know what, a lot of the people who everyone thinks is nice, isn’t so nice. But they LOVE that everyone thinks that they are nice, so that when they are in an altercation or argument, people jump to the conclusion that they are the helpless lamb when in actuality they are really a wolf in disguise. I REALLY HATE that because I feel like those people throw their wolf’s skin on me. So that no one will ever see the girl underneath because people will run from first glance at this wolf’s skin I wear. I’m just misunderstood and it sucks.