I wish life wasn’t so hard.

Fuck. I wish money was easier to obtain. A place to live was easier to obtain. Freedom isn’t so free.

If I actually did “live like there’s no tomorrow”, I’d be in jail.

snowpikachu:

Who lives in Orange County?

mikeyzz:

can you reblog this? so i can follow you? i neeed more local tumblr bloggers. lol

Six

6. I will stop caring about what anyone thinks. I will continue to be selfish and think of myself first. I will be happy, and I won’t let people stop me.

-I will do this. & continue doing so. I’ve accomplished my goals/personal challenge, how about you set a few for yourself and actually achieve it, not set it aside. It’s something to feel proud of. Go out there and live.

Endless

It’s so hard to learn from your mistakes. You do things by how you know it, you don’t know the other possibilities so you don’t know what to change it to. It’s hard to try and change. To end that painful cycle you can’t seem to get yourself out of. It’s hard to identify what it is that you are doing wrong. It’s hard to tell when you’re repeating a cycle, a pattern, that just doesn’t seem to end. I want to break free. I want to learn. I want to live. I don’t want history to repeat itself. Please, learn, observe, notice, and fix it before it starts all over again.

Personal Challenge

I’ve always been a self conscious person. I’ve always had low self-esteem.

Now is a time for change. You get no where with low self-esteem. Be courageous. Be outgoing. Be a little crazy. Live a little.

There has been a few things I’ve always been self conscious about.

1. Pictures. I tend to protest and hate picture of myself being posted up by friends if I don’t approve of them first. I usually protested because I believed that I didn’t look appealing in them. So to face this fear I want to post up…on the world wide web….a picture of myself on a normal day at home. No make up. No fancy clothes. Just me, in my everyday jammies.

2. I will take more picture when I go out. No matter how gross I end up looking. These pictures are memories. Who cares how I look. Those that care, don’t matter.

3. I will be outgoing. Approach strangers, be pleasant, be happy, be me.

4. I will eat what I want. I will try to exercise but not because I’m self-conscious about my weight but because I want to be healthy. Those that judge me by my weight are just conscious about their own, but I won’t let it phase me.

5. I will go out without makeup every once in a while because I should be content with how I look. I need to learn to love myself. I say every once in a while because I do love makeup, it’s something I enjoy. It does make me feel more confident. NO I do not do it to look good for others, I do it so I feel good, idgaf if guys like it or not, if you were after a pretty face, I wouldn’t want you in the first place.

6. I will stop caring about what anyone thinks. I will continue to be selfish and think of myself first. I will be happy, and I won’t let people stop me.

Ironic, isn’t it ?

chelseababy:

That, at times, the nicest people have the most unpleasant pasts, which contribute to their humility. That the happiest people tell the saddest stories, which have helped to mold their gratefulness & willingness to live for today. While the ones who’ve got everything feel nothing but loneliness amongst their possessions.

Nothing is ever quite what it seems, that’s why we should never judge one’s life over the other.

Sweet Nothings

I posted this on

Monday, August 16, 2010

I hate how easily my heart is swayed by a few sweet words. I know it’s done to manipulate my heart to show affection and it works but it tricks me. I’d never know if it’s how I feel or how my heart has been tricked to feel by sweet nothings. I hate being so vulnerable and easy to manipulate. Please let me think on my own, let me have a graspon my heart, some form of control over what and how to feel. All this persuasion just makes me all the more lost and confused. Now that I have this giant hole in my heart, I’m doing what I can to fill it so please let me heal. Let me become independent. Let me live. And then let me love.