I'm still young and trying to figure things out. I'll make mistakes and I'll hopefully learn some lessons, but that's just life. I'm not going to be fake, I know I'm not perfect. I'm an enigma, a puzzle that can't be solved, a maze you'll never find your way out of, but isn't that what makes me interesting? Get to know me, you might just end up liking what you see. Although I'm still figuring out my life, there is one thing that's for sure, as luck would have it, I've found the one. I love you Sodana Lam.
-I'm Vietnamese/Chinese
-19 years I've been on this earth
December 12th
2:34 AM

Stuck in the past

it’s difficult to try and improve yourself when everyone in your family has a shared mentality about dealing with problems. I am trying to learn not to dwell on the past but my family doesn’t exactly set a great example. My family has been hit with hurdle after hurdle this year, with family illnesses, financial troubles, car accidents, and internal struggles. At one point we were going to have to move to another state or a shady neighborhood (or should I say shadier neighborhood). One thing after another took a toll on morale for this family. I did being to worry and stress out until I started getting panic attacks and then my grades started to drop from my usual A’s. Now that I’m at the end of the semester and I look back, I think I held it together pretty well because mentally, I was not stable. The stress and uncertainty took a toll. Thankfully, I was able to maintain my A’s to the end of the semester. What have I learned from all of this and my family’s failure to cope with obstacles? I have learned that doing anything that doesn’t help is useless. The arguing back and forth, the constant talking about what if and what should have been, the pointing of fingers, all of that is utterly useless. At times I feel as though apathy is the best policy.

October 19th
7:27 PM

The uncertainty is stressing me out.

I didn’t realize the relief you get from an escape until I needed one. I guess the theaters aren’t as bad as I thought they were.

March 15th
12:37 AM

Something someone just told me..

it’s about time you took some time to take care of and nurture yourself instead of stressing out over other peoples lives.

January 29th
3:10 PM

Rebuttal

My friend a fellow virgin to alcohol and drugs. She makes valid points.

"There were times where I think about trying it too, but I’m afraid because I don’t know what I’ll get myself into and I don’t know what could happen next, like if I’ll get addicted to it or if I’ll ruin my life after. The only reason why I think about trying it though, is because everybody says, “It feels better. Your problems go away.” I want to feel better and I want my problems to go away too. It’ll serve as a stress reliever, but at the same time, it’ll do damage to your body. What I say you should do though, is not try it. Just try to stay clear because let’s say you get addicted, let’s say it really does help youOnce you get addicted to something, it is really really hard to go back. You don’t want to do something you’re going to regret, you know? We both have plenty of friends that do it. They’re still good people, but honestly, who will die faster? Who has a healthier lifestyle? Who has a cleaner system? I know you’ll be missing out on opportunities, but like you said, you’ll also lose your reputation as “a clean person.” We have morals, that’s why we’re so clean. We choose to be clean and that shows that we have self-control, whereas some people don’t. They turn to drugs and alcohol and whatever because they have problems that they can’t fix on their own. You don’t want to be saying that to yourself. You don’t want to rely on that stuff to get through.”

It’s a mental thing. That’s why it leads back to self-control haha. It’s a good thing he doesn’t want you to try it though. I know I have some friends that don’t want me to try it either. Sometimes their reasons are that it’s because they don’t want me to lose my image or that they don’t want me to be like them. They know what it does to them and they don’t want it to happen to me.

Thoughts?

January 23rd
4:01 AM

already spent all my new years money with my siblings, on what? paying all the bills for this wonderful home we have.

I can’t feign ignorance anymore. I’m no longer a child, I know the financial burden that is on my parents shoulders. I cannot be selfish, I cannot be greedy, I know that. I know how difficult life is and how hard it is to survive in it. I must help lighten the load on their strained shoulders and that is why I must strive, strive to become successful, in order for them to live the rest of their lives with no stress. The stress of putting food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs. As children, we lose sight of what matters most, the people we love, the people who sacrifice so much for us, the people who work so hard and deal with so much hardships for our future. We forget to love them, appreciate them, and respect them. Show some love and compassion to your parents, for they won’t always be around.